


poverina

by s_coups



Category: Winner (Band)
Genre: Drug Use, Let's make that a thing, Lots of cursing and drinking?, M/M, Song Minho speaking Italian, Suicide, also winner/red velvet, because lets be real who isn't a sucker for them, they're precious together, y'all are adults I don't need to tag that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-03
Updated: 2016-01-02
Packaged: 2018-05-04 19:39:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5346188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/s_coups/pseuds/s_coups
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>a brief interlude in the tedious consistency that is song mino's life, in the shape and form of nam taehyun.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> for rhea & claudia.

  
"Qualsiasi amore è una forza che unisce," Mino recites to the cracks in the ceiling. He clutches a half empty bottle of Château d'Esclans to his chest, reciting the only few lines he had scribbled into his notebook that night. The notebook in question was practically falling apart, pages ripped apart and strewn over his sheets. He was laying on a few of them; he could hear them crinkling beneath his spine every time he shifted.  
  
He takes another gulp of the wine, twisting his face slightly at the sweetness, and goes on. "Amore è tempest di gioia e di dolcezza-"  
  
He's interrupted as the door to his room is thrown open rudely. Seungyoon and Seunghoon stroll in, both dressed for a night out. Seunghoon puts out his cigarette on Mino's copy of Les Misérables, and Mino doesn't even bother scolding him.  
  
"Get up, loser," Seungyoon commands, grabbing Mino roughly by the arm and pulling him into a sitting position. "I know you've been in a rut recently but you need to get out of this room."  
  
Seunghoon grabs the wine bottle from his hands, reading the label. "Is this rose wine? How gay can you get, dude?"  
  
Mino just sighs deeply as Seungyoon stands, opening his closet to dig through his clothes.  
  
"I don't wanna go out," Mino mumbles, half to himself, because Seungyoon doesn't even pay attention.  
  
"Of course you do," Seunghoon says cheerily, clapping him roughly on the back. "Going out will inspire you to write."  
  
"How will going to some drugged up house party and watching you two suck face with the same girl all night inspire me to write?"  
"Fuck you, man, we don't always make out with the same girl."  
  
Seungyoon turns around, throwing Mino's leather jacket at him so the zipper hits him right in the face. He curses as Seungyoon says, "You'll have fun, trust me."  
  


 

  
  
  The house party they go to turns out to not even be at a house. And it's not much of a crazy party. It's in a dark bar that smells strongly of malt liquor with live music. Mino recognizes almost everyone there, and he groans and ducks behind Seungyoon when he spots his ex Dara across the room.  
  
"Fuck, don't let her see me," Mino hisses. Seungyoon navigates them to sit at a table near the stage, where a man with a thick beard and horn rimmed glasses is covering a Beatles song.  
  
"I hate you guys," Mino grumbles. "I wanna go home."  
  
"You're such a party pooper," Seunghoon complains. "I'm going to get you a beer."  
  
Seungyoon starts talking to Mino about a girl, or two girls, or maybe even three girls, but Mino isn't listening. He nods every few seconds to seem like he is. He's scanning the room, already trying to plan his escape.  
  
The man with the beard finishes his song, bowing. He leaves the stage, and the lights dim slightly, change from yellow to purple. Everyone's mostly too drunk to notice, but the few sober enough to fall silent, watching the stage. Mino scrubs his eyes with the heels of his palms, a headache budding in his temple.  
  
The curtain opens and a boy walks out, tall and thin. He's dressed all in black, with a turtleneck on, and his hair is parted strategically in the center. Most of it is pushed behind his ears, but a few strands hang in front of his eyes. He looks young, probably Mino's age or younger. He licks his lips, clearing his throat very quietly. Most of the bar has fallen silent now, eyes on the boy.  
  
A beat starts from the speakers, slow, bass heavy. The boy closes his eyes, opens his mouth, and starts to sing.  
  
It's like Mino's frozen in place, body heavy and paralyzed as he watches this stranger sing. The entire bar is quiet, the boy's sultry, smooth voice the only sound heard. Even the bartender is watching, intrigued.  
  
Mino can't even place what the boy is singing about. Sex, or money, or love, probably. Whatever it is, it sounds like an angel's choir to Mino's ears. He grips the edge of his chair, leaning forward. He can hear his heart beating in his ears along with the beat. His brain is swirling with words, sentences, novels he wants to write about this boy and his angelic voice and beautiful face.  
  
It's over far too quickly, the boy ending his song with a long, drawn out exhale that comes off sounding almost erotic. It's so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Then the boy opens his eyes and smiles, and the entire bar erupts into thunderous applause.  
  
"Mino. Mino!" Mino is shaken out of his trance by Seungyoon, who's violently shaking his shoulder. He turns to look at him slowly, his eyes still staring. Seungyoon looks worried, and Seunghoon is sitting beside him, frowning. There's a beer in front of him, and he grabs it, chugging half of it in one go.  
  
"Are you okay?" Seungyoon asks gently. Mino nods, glancing back up at the stage, where the regular lights had come back on and the boy was slipping behind the curtain.  
  
"He's obviously in love with Taehyun," Seunghoon laughs. He takes a sip of his beer, and Seungyoon pales a little.  
  
"Taehyun?" Mino repeats.  
  
"That's how everyone gets after hearing him sing the first time," Seunghoon says. "Don't worry, bro. I felt the same way."  
  
"Do you know him?" Mino asks slowly, his tongue feeling thick and heavy  
  
"Yeah," Seunghoon grins. "Want me to introduce you?"  
  
"I don't think Taehyun would be good for him right now," Seungyoon starts to say, but Mino is already on his feet, nodding enthusiastically at Seunghoon's offer.  
  
Seunghoon leads Mino towards the stage, to the left and through a door that's the same color as the black walls. He winks at the bouncer standing there, who rolls his eyes and lets them pass without a word.  
  
The door opens to a narrow hallway on either side. A few people are mingling, dressed much nicer then the patrons of the bar, sipping drinks. Mino passes a beautiful girl and watches her laugh and flip her luscious blonde hair over her shoulder, the man beside her staring with a glazed over look.  
  
Seunghoon leads him to a room at the end of the hallway. The door is propped open with a stool, and when they step in Mino immediately spots the boy.  
  
He's sitting on an old sofa beside a pretty girl. His legs are crossed, and he nods slowly as the girl talks to him, his eyes fixed on her face, even as he takes a sip from the wine glass in his right hand. There's a cigarette burning on an ash tray in front of him, a small bowl of individual chocolates and a half empty bottle of red wine beside it. There are three or four other people in the room, chatting in other chairs. Mino watches him laugh at something the girl said, eyes crinkling and white teeth gleaming in the dim lighting. Minos heartbeat picks up tenfold. Everything felt like it was going in slow motion until Seunghoon raps his knuckles on the door, and everyone in the room looked up at him and Mino, including Taehyun.  
  
"Taehyunnie," Seunghoon sings. "I have a fan here who wants to meet you."  
  
Mino can feel his face flushing three times pinker then usual when Taehyun's eyes rake him from top to bottom, finally settling to meet his gaze.  
  
"Is that so?" Taehyun says finally after a few seconds of silence. He leans forward to put his glass down and pick up the cigarette instead, his eyes never leaning Mino. He takes a deep drag, leaning back and settling back into the couch with a sigh. He blows out a cloud of smoke and smiles a dazzling smile. "Well, bring him here. You know I love meeting fans."  
  
Mino almost trips over his own feet as Seunghoon motions for him to follow. Seunghoon takes a seat in the armchair across from Taehyun. Mino hesitates, but Taehyun pats the spot beside him, and so he sits down stiffly, trying his hardest not to touch the other boy and remind himself to breathe at the same time.  
  
The other people in the room have gone back to their own conversations, and Seunghoon reaches forward to grab one of the chocolates, winking at the girl beside Taehyun. "Doing well, Wendy?"  
  
The girl, Wendy, rolls her eyes. "Just fine, Seunghoon, thanks for asking."  
  
Mino almost jumps out of his seat when he realizes that Taehyun is staring intensely at him, cigarette ashing between his lips. His eyes are dark and piercing, and he raises one perfectly straight eyebrow and smiles when Mino blushes again.  
  
"Was tonight your first show?" Taehyun asks. His voice is like honey, smooth and deep, and Mino has to swallow hard and collect his thoughts before nodding.  
  
"How do you know Seunghoon?" Taehyun continues as he puts his cigarette down and picks up a chocolate.  
  
"Um," Mino clears his throat, his voice coming out as more of a croak. "We go to the same university."  
  
Taehyun nods. He starts unwrapping the chocolate slowly, long fingers pulling at every fold of the wrapper without even looking, eyes still holding Mino's gaze. Mino feels like he can't breathe as he watches Taehyun lift the chocolate to his lips and bite into it, face blank even though he has to know Mino is staring at him like he's film Mino can't stop watching.  
  
Someone snaps, and Mino is shaken out of his trance, blinking a few times and turning to see Seunghoon staring at him and Taehyun with an amused look. Wendy is watching as well, eyebrows raised and small smile on her lips.  
  
Mino coughs awkwardly, but Taehyun doesn't seem affected at all. He's still staring at Mino, finishing up his chocolate.  
  
"Be gentle, Taehyun," Seunghoon says, still smirking, and Taehyun turns to look at him. "Don't overwhelm him so soon, yeah? He's sensitive."  
  
"Shut up, you dick," Mino snaps, and Taehyun laughs. Its a pretty noise that makes Mino's head spin.  
  
There's a crashing noise then from the hallway, followed by a few people shouting. The blonde girl Mino had passed before pokes her head into the room and says in a bored voice, "Taehyun, you better get out here. Jinwoo just threw a chair at Hanbin and knocked him out cold."  
  
Taehyun's brows knit together, and he lets out a deep sigh. He puts out his cigarette and rises gracefully to his feet, turning to Mino. "I'm sorry for the abrupt end to our introduction. Hopefully we can meet again soon," He flashes him a brilliant smile, and Mino's insides feel like they're melting.  
  
He flits out of the room, the crashing noise and shouting only intensifying once he's disappeared out the door. Mino watches him go, mystified, but he hears Seunghoon cough awkwardly.  
  
"Jinwoo hasn't gotten any better then, it seems?" He asks, and Mino can detect what sounds like bitterness in his voice.  
  
Wendy sighs. "Yeah, I think he's just gotten worse. I'm surprised he's still enrolled, seeing as he barely goes to class anymore since..." She trails off, and the tension between them suddenly becomes uncomfortable. Mino is pulled out of his daze by it. He's definitely missing some information, but before he can ask what's happening Seunghoon is getting to his feet, tugging Mino with him.  
  
"Come on, man, we gotta get back to Seungyoon. I'm sure he's gotten wasted by himself since we've been gone."  
  
Mino nods, mumbling a goodbye to Wendy, who waves half heartedly in return. There's almost no one in the hallway when they leave, Taehyun no where to be seen despite Mino's hopes. When they return to Seungyoon, he's sure enough there and drunk, empty beer bottles littering the table in front of him as he slurs to no one in particular.  
  
They haul him outside and call a cab, and Mino assures Seunghoon he'll take the other inhabilitated man home to his dorm and watch him when they drop Seunghoon off at his apartment. The elder says goodbye, and Mino can still see something in his eyes that he can't place. The moment he slams the cab door and they drive away, Mino turns to Seungyoon beside him.  
  
"Seungyoon," Mino says. The elder doesn't respond, and he wonders if he's fallen asleep. "Seungyoon!"  
  
"What?" Seungyoon snaps, still slurring. His eyes are half closed and his head is tilted back to rest on the leather seat.  
  
"Who's Jinwoo?" Mino asks.  
  
"Jinwoo?" Seungyoon repeats. His head lolls to the side, then rolls back up sharply. "Jinwoo's... Seunghoonsexboyfriend," He says it all in one breath, so the words become garbled together.  
  
Ex-boyfriend? Mino had never heard of Jinwoo before, let alone known Seunghoon had dated him. "When did they date?"  
  
"Couplemonthsago," Seungyoon mutters. He licks his lips and then smacks them, making a face at the taste of beer on his breath. "Hereallylikedhim."  
  
"How come he never told me?"  
  
Seungyoon doesn't respond for awhile, to the point Mino thinks he's fallen asleep. A couple minutes later however, he suddenly says, in such a clear voice that if it weren't for the bloodshot eyes and the stench of alcohol coming off him in waves, Mino would think he were sober, "You really don't notice anything that happens around you, do you?"  
  
Mino frowns as Seungyoon settles his head back against the seat again. "You and Taehyun would really get along..." His voice trails off into a unexpected snore, and just like that he's out like a light.  
  
His words repeat in Mino's mind for the whole cab drive home, while he carries him on his back up the stairs and when they're finally in Mino's bed, Seungyoon snoring loudly beside him while the younger stares up at the ceiling in the dark.  
  
Would he and Taehyun really get along?  
  


 

  
  
When Mino wakes in the morning, Seungyoon is no where to be found. The only trace of him ever spending the night is a post it stuck to Mino's forehead with a scribbled "Thanks man. See you in class xx" on it. Mino pulls it off his face and sits up, sighing. The events from last night are still playing his head. Taehyun's sultry voice, the way his lips wrapped around that chocolate and the smile he gave Mino when he said goodbye. There was a buzzing in Mino's veins as he thought about it, and he jumped out of bed, suddenly full of adrenaline just thinking of the boy. If his first two classes pass fast enough, he could see Seunghoon at lunch and somehow manage to squeeze Taehyun's contact information out him. He had to see Taehyun again.  
  
The minutes tick away slowly during his first class. He can't stop shaking his leg, and he taps his pencil to the beat of the song Taehyun sang against his desk until the senior beside him, Jiyong, snaps at him to knock it off and slaps him across the back of the head so hard his vision blurs for a few seconds.  
  
His second class passes faster, because Seungyoon is in it. The elder drags himself in looking like death itself, slumping down beside Mino and letting out a groan, putting his head in his arms.  
  
"Please tell me I at least got laid last night," Seungyoon mutters into the desk.  
  
Mino snorts. "Unless you count us sleeping in the same bed, then no. You got drunk by yourself and tried to flirt with a coat rack as we left the bar."  
  
"Was it an expensive coat rack, at least?" Seungyoon asks, raising his head. He's got deep dark circles under his eyes.  
  
"To make you feel better, I'm gonna say yes."  
  
About halfway through class, as their professor is droning on in his lecture and Mino's half asleep, Seungyoon suddenly passes him a note.  
  
_did you meet Taehyun last night?_  
  
Mino frowns at it, then scribbles back,  
  
_yeah, why?_  
  
Seungyoon chews on the inside of his cheek as he writes back,  
  
_be careful with him, please._  
  
Mino scrawls back,  
  
_why?_  
  
He stares at Seungyoon as the elder writes back a paragraph.  
  
_he's just a bad person to get involved with. his brother really fucked over seunghoon idk why he's still even friends with taehyun because he's like ten times worse. just be careful, ok? i know he seems interesting & exactly ur type or whatever but he's an awful person._  
  
Mino rereads his note a couple times, frowning. An awful person? But something else stands out to him.  
  
_what did his brother do to seunghoon?_  
  
Seungyoon looks up at him at that, his face serious. _I'll tell you later_ , He mouths at him. He crumples the note up and shoves it into his pocket, going back to taking notes on the lecture.  
  


 

  
  
When they meet Seunghoon at the café off campus they always have lunch at, the minute Seungyoon goes to order himself a coffee, Mino leans into Seunghoon and asks, "Do you have Taehyun's number?"  
  
Seunghoon looks up from his laptop and grins. "I knew you'd like him."  
  
Mino rolls his eyes, feeling his face heat up. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. Do you have it?"  
  
"Taehyun doesn't have a phone," Seunghoon explains, looking back down at his laptop and typing something out. "He really doesn't have any way to contact him."  
  
"What? Who doesn't have a phone nowadays? It's the twenty first fucking century."  
  
"Yeah, well, Taehyun isn't really normal. The only person who can contact him is Wendy, or maybe Irene, so I can give you their numbers if you want," Seunghoon digs into his pocket and pulls out his phone.  
  
Mino's mind flashes back to Wendy and her lofty attitude that was slightly intimidating. He didn't even know who Irene was, so he shakes his head. Another idea pops into his mind, and before he can stop himself, he blurts out, "What about Taehyun's brother?"  
  
Seunghoon's freezes, and Mino can see the way he tries to keep a casual expression as he looks up and says tensely, "What about him?"  
  
"Wouldn't he be able to get in contact with Taehyun?" Mino asks carefully. "Do you have his number?"  
  
Seunghoon's eyes harden, and he glares daggers at Seungyoon behind Mino, who's flirting with the barista as he waits for his coffee. "What did he tell you?"  
  
Mino shrugs and tries to act like he isn't dying to know everything about Taehyun's brother and the supposed drama Seunghoon was involved in with him. "Just that you dated him and he 'broke your heart'," He puts air quotes around the last bit.  
  
Seunghoon chews on the inside of cheek and stares at Mino for a long moment. Then he finally says, in a terse voice, "Jinwoo doesn't have a phone either. He's even harder to contact then Taehyun."  
  
The name Jinwoo rings a bell in Mino's head. Then he remembers last night, the girl saying someone named Jinwoo had knocked out a kid with a chair. All the screaming and crashing in the hallway. The awkward conversation between Seunghoon and Wendy. "Wait, Jinwoo-"  
  
Before he can finish, Seungyoon comes back, slapping a napkin with a phone number scribbled on it on the table and proudly declaring he got the baristas number. Seunghoon smiles at him, although it looks forced, and Mino is left to his own thoughts.

 

  
  
Mino is woken up the next evening from a hard knock on his door. He wakes up with a start from where he'd fallen asleep at his desk, the paper that was supposed to contain his History essay (but instead just had scribbled out poems about Taehyun and dark eyes on it) stuck to his cheek. He checks the clock- almost 11 pm- and wonders if it's his RA or one of the students next door. When he opens the door, it's neither. Instead, Nam Taehyun stands in its wake, along with another boy, who's slumped over, only standing up because of Taehyun holding him up.  
  
"Can we come in?" Taehyun asks in that soft voice of his, and Mino steps aside to let them in without a word.  
  
Taehyun dumps the boy on Mino's bed. The boy lays on his back, his head lolling side to side. He's clearly conscious, but his eyes can't seem to stay open, and he's mumbling a stream of nothing to no one.  
  
"Can you call Seunghoon?" Taehyun asks. No "this is _____", no "sorry it's so late", not even a "I've been dying to see you". Then again, Mino doesn't know what he expected.  
  
Mino nods, still silent, and pulls out his phone to call Seunghoon. As the phone rings, the boy on the bed suddenly jerks, muttering out, "Seunghoon" and it hits Mino who he is.  
  
Seunghoon picks up, and without even saying hello, Mino says, "Taehyun's here with Jinwoo. I think you should come over."  
  
Seunghoon doesn't respond, and if it weren't for his breathing on the other end Mino would've thought he'd hung up. Then he suddenly clears his throat awkwardly and mumbles a "I'll be there in five minutes". The line goes dead.  
  
Mino shoves his phone back in his pocket and turns to Taehyun. He sitting beside Jinwoo, stroking his hair softly. Jinwoo lets out a noise that sounds half like a sob and half like a pained groan, rolling over and turning his back to Taehyun. He sits up just as suddenly, eyes opening and zeroing in on Mino standing in front of them.  
  
"Who's this?" He slurs out. His eyes are bloodshot like Mino's never seen before, and he's so pale Mino can see the little veins underneath his eyes. His lips are chapped and his hair's a mess, but other then that he's quite pretty. He sniffs violently out of nowhere, making Mino jump.  
  
"This is Mino," Taehyun explains gently. He's looking at Mino too, and the latter feels slightly uncomfortable under the intense gaze of both brothers.  
  
"Where's Seunghoon?" Jinwoo asks, and his voice turns slightly desperate. He looks at Taehyun with huge, begging eyes.  
  
"He's coming, don't fret," Taehyun pushes back Jinwoo's bangs, soothing him. Jinwoo swallows hard, and Mino notices he's trembling slightly.  
  
"Is he drunk?" Mino asks hesitantly. He's never seen someone act like this before.  
  
"He's high," Taehyun responds in a dull voice. "He's been shooting up so often recently I don't think his normal dose is high enough, so he took way more then usual. Dumbass keeps using more and more."  
  
"Shooting up?" Mino echoes, and fear courses through his veins for some reason. "Like... heroin?"  
  
Taehyun laughs. "I wish. He stopped using heroin when Seunghoon dumped him. I'm pretty sure he's been into Crystal Meth for awhile now."  
  
Mino stares at Jinwoo with fascination. He's never encountered someone in person who was a heavy drug user. It was almost interesting to watch.  
  
"He's so... skinny," Mino comments. He immediately regrets it though, because Taehyun glares daggers at him and wraps a protective arm around Jinwoo's shoulders.  
  
"It's the meth. It makes people lose their appetites."  
  
Mino nods, not wanting to say anything else and upset Taehyun further. Luckily, there's a knock on the door at that moment.  
  
Before Mino can move, Jinwoo is on his feet at an amazing speed, throwing open the door.  
  
Seunghoon's there, his hand still raised to knock again. There’s such a thick silence when he meets Jinwoo’s eyes even Mino feels uncomfortable just being in the same room as them.  
  
Seunghoon swallows hard, lowering his hand. Jinwoo’s eyes look wet, like they’re about to spill over with tears, and his lips move like he’s trying to say something but can’t find his voice.  
  
“How much did he take?” Seunghoon asks quietly. The question is directed at Taehyun, but he doesn’t look away from Jinwoo’s face.  
  
“A lot. Definitely enough that he won’t remember this in the morning,” Taehyun replies. His voice is back to being dull.  
  
Seunghoon nods, and then he’s reaching out to smooth down Jinwoo’s hair. The other boy trembles visibly when Seunghoon touches him, hands coming up to grip his wrists when he cups Jinwoo’s face.  
  
Seunghoon looks like he’s going to cry as well. He swallows again, blinking the wetness from his eyes, and mumbles, “I missed you, Jinwoo.”  
  
Jinwoo lets out a choked out sob. Seunghoon has to lean down to press his forehead against Jinwoo’s, and the smaller boy starts shedding tears when their lips brush. Mino looks away, feeling like he’s intruding on an incredibly intimate moment. His eyes are drawn to Taehyun where he’s still sitting on the bed and the way he watches his brother and Seunghoon kiss with an almost wistful look.  
  
Jinwoo starts crying harder then, his hiccupping sobs breaking their kiss. Seunghoon wraps his arms around him and pulls him to his chest, resting his chin on top of his head. He looks at Mino with an expressionless face.  
  
“Thanks for calling me,” He says, his voice shaking slightly. He pulls Jinwoo out of the room without another word, closing the door behind them.  
  
They’re left in silence, Mino still staring at the door. He’s shaken out of his thoughts when Taehyun’s suddenly beside him, his hand curling around his bicep and making him jump.  
  
It’s like everything around him is muted when he looks in Taehyun’s eyes, like the night he’d met him. He can’t look away from his face, his porcelain skin and the way his eyelashes brush his high cheekbones when he blinks.  
  
“I’m glad I got to see you again,” Taehyun murmurs. They’re alone, but he speaks low like he’s sharing a secret. He smiles that dazzling smile, and Mino’s brain short circuits.  
  
“I..” Mino stutters for a second. “I..”  
  
“Can I smoke in here?” Taehyun asks abruptly, pulling out a cigarette from behind his ear like he was the main character of an artsy french film. “Do you have a lighter?”  
  
Mino nods dumbly, turning to his desk to scramble around for a lighter. A few of his papers fly off the desk. He hears Taehyun open his window, and a cold breeze whooshes in and makes Mino’s skin prickle.  
  
When he turns back, Taehyun is sitting on his bed, cigarette in his mouth, and holding one of the papers from Mino’s desk in his hands.  
  
“Wait, no, that’s-” Mino lurches forward and rips the paper out of Taehyun’s hands. Taehyun looks up at him without a change in his expression.  
  
“What’s that? Poems?”  
  
“Um,” Mino tries to look anywhere but the other boy’s face. “Yeah. I’m an English major.”  
  
“That didn’t look like a class assignment,” Taehyun smirks at him, and it makes the butterflies in Mino’s stomach go wild. “Who’re they about?”  
  
Mino tries not to blush too fiercely. He hands Taehyun the lighter, watching him light up the cigarette with practiced ease and take a long drag. “You,” He blurts out in a sudden spurt of confidence, which fizzles out the moment Taehyun stops smiling.  
  
“Really?” Taehyun asks around the cigarette. He reaches out and snatches the paper before Mino can react. He scans it again, blowing a cloud of smoke in the direction of the window. “These are beautiful, Mino.”  
  
Something warm lights up in Mino, and he feels his face heat up at the praise. “Thanks.”  
  
“Do you have more?”  
  
Mino nods.  
  
Taehyun stares at him, then promptly kicks off his boots and swings his legs up onto the bed. He stretches out, lying down and nestling his head on Mino’s pillows. “Read me more.”  
  
He looks expectantly at him, smoke wisping out of his teeth in a very chic way. Mino feels like he’s going to have a heart attack. Just yesterday he was begging Seunghoon to give him Taehyun’s number, and now Taehyun was here, in all his glory, laying on Mino’s bed with a cigarette in his mouth and absolutely adorable striped socks, asking to hear Mino’s poetry.  
  
Mino smiles at him, settling himself down in his desk chair, and picks up another paper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the quotes in Italian Mino says at the beginning are "Any love is a force that unites" and "Love is the tempest of joy and sweetness".


	2. Chapter 2

Mino wakes up to early morning sunlight filtering through his blinds, a pounding headache, and Taehyun sitting at the end of his bed, tying the laces of his boots up. He tries to speak but his throat is bone dry, and he gropes for the water bottle on his nightstand, groaning instead when he just knocks it over.

Taehyun laughs, but doesn’t bother trying to help him or getting the bottle. Mino has to bend his back awkwardly so half his body is dangling off the bed to grab it, then haul himself back up with a grunt.

“Did we drink?” Is the first thing he says after downing half the bottle. He sits up, head spinning, and the first thing he notices is that his apartment is suspiciously clean. No papers littering the floor, no recyclables overflowing on the counter. Everything’s organized. “Did you clean?”

“Yes, and yes,” Taehyun replies, getting to his feet. He reaches down and picks up a plastic bag filled with empty bottles of wine, along with what looks like any other recyclables he found in the apartment. “You broke them out about an hour after Seunghoon left.”

“Why did you clean?” Mino asks, squinting as he adjusts to the sunlight. He checks his phone- it’s not even seven yet.

Taehyun shrugs, slinging the bag over his shoulder. “I don’t like messes,” He answers simply. He scuffs his boot along the wooden floor, and for a moment he looks almost nervous. But it’s gone within seconds, and he’s back to his usual unidentifiable expression as he says, “I really liked your poems.”

Mino chokes on his water he goes to take another sip, his face turning red. “Fuck… um… how many did I read you?”

Taehyun just smiles at him. “A few,” A glance at his desk shows Mino it was definitely more than a few, judging by the huge stack of papers neatly clipped together on it. “Once we finished the second bottle I think you forgot I couldn’t speak Italian too so you just started reciting those ones but didn’t translate them for me.”

Mino breathes an internal sigh of relief. The poems he writes in Italian are usually cheesy and gross, and also the ones he ends up scribbling when he’s had too much to drink and can’t think of anything better at three in the morning.

“Anyway,” Taehyun clears his throat, and even that sounds musical to Mino. He pushes his hair behind his ear, but it just falls back in front of his eyes. “I have a performance tonight so I should probably go,” He flashes Mino that dazzling smile, and it looks a bit more genuine than it had the other night. “Hopefully you can make it.”

Mino nods, slightly dazed as he wakes up more and starts to realize that Nam Taehyun had in fact stayed the night (even after hearing some of the ridiculously pretentious poems Mino read him). He wants to say he’ll definitely make it, or that they should see each other again, or even just goodbye, but by the time he finds his voice, Taehyun is gone.

 

Mino only has one morning class that day, and he contemplates skipping it before reminding himself Seunghoon is in it as well and if he skips it without him he wouldn’t hear the end of it for the rest of the semester. He’s also mildly (note: majorly.) curious to hear what happened with Jinwoo once they both left Mino’s the night before.

But when he enters the class and scans the room, Seunghoon is nowhere to be found. Jiyong is the only other person he knows, and Mino begrudgingly takes the seat beside him, sighing heavily.

Jiyong is deep into his writing, his handwriting completely unreadable as he tries to fit his thoughts into the margins of the otherwise completely full paper. When Mino sits down, he barely glances up, but when he sees who it is he does a double take.

“Mino,” Jiyong snaps. It was probably the nicest tone he could summon. Mino sometimes wondered why the elder was an English major, a major that took creativity and just the right delve into your innermost emotions, when it seemed like the entire world and their mom pissed him off to no extent. He would probably fit better just doing something in sports, so he could take out his anger and bodily slam people to the ground without it being considered an act of violence.

“Yes?” Mino replied in the sweetest tone he could muster.

“Are you dating that Namtae kid?”

Mino frowns, turning to look at him. “Namtae? Do you mean Taehyun?”

“Yeah, Taehyun.”

“No,” Mino shakes his head. “How do you know him?”

Jiyong lets out a snort. “I used to run coke with his brother. But Namtae’s a different level of crazy. You should stay away from that kid.”

Mino knows he should probably be questioning how exactly Jiyong came to meet Taehyun if he ran coke with Jinwoo and why Jiyong ran coke with Jinwoo if he’s just barely 25, but something else gets under his skin. “He’s not crazy. Why does everyone keep saying that?”

Jiyong raises an eyebrow at him. He elbows the boy beside him, who’s got his headphones in and is sucking on a lollipop. “Hey, Seungri. Whadya think of Namtae?”

The boy pulls out one of his headphones and sucks hard on his lollipop. “Namtae? Jinwoo’s brother?” He laughs. “He’s fuckin crazy, man.”

Jiyong gives Mino a pointed ‘I told you so’ look, going back to his writing.

“Fuck off, Jiyong,” Mino mutters, half to himself, but the elder hears it, and Mino gets punched in the arm hard a second later.

 

“How does he even know I know Taehyun?” Mino complains later when he’s sitting at the cafe with Seungyoon for lunch. Seunghoon was a no show again, which Mino found a bit strange, because the elder never missed a chance to force Seungyoon to buy him food.

“Jiyong’s hooking up with Seulgi,” Seungyoon explains. He’s got a stack of notecards in his hands, flipping through them diligently without looking up as he talks. “Seulgi is Wendy’s sister. Wendy is Taehyun’s friend. It’s word of mouth.”

“Why am I word of mouth?” Mino grumbles. He tries to ignore the little flare of jealousy he gets at the mention of Wendy. She was obviously close with Taehyun, and that just made Mino get weirdly possessive of someone he’s only met twice. “Whatever, anyway, Taehyun came over last night.”

Seungyoon raises an eyebrow, still not looking up. “Seriously? What for?”

“He brought Jinwoo over, and he told me to call Seunghoon for him,” Seungyoon looks up sharply, his expression changing completely. “Seunghoon came and got Jinwoo and when they left-”

“Excuse me?” Seungyoon interrupts, and he suddenly looks angry. “Did you just tell me you called Seunghoon to come pick up Jinwoo? Is that what you just said?”

Mino nods, frowning. “Yeah? I mean I know they have history but Jinwoo was fucked up and Taehyun said-”

“I don’t give a shit what Taehyun said,” Seungyoon spits. He slams his notecards on the table, a few flying off, and it makes such a loud sound a few people glance over with worried looks. “What the fuck were you thinking, calling Seunghoon over, especially when Jinwoo was high?”

Mino raises his eyebrows. “What do you mean what was I thinking?” He asks. “Jinwoo wanted Seunghoon. I didn’t know what to do, and Seunghoon came anyway.”

“You’re so stupid sometimes,” Seungyoon mutters. “You’re so thick headed. You really don’t pay attention to anyone but yourself do you?” He stands up, shoving his books into his bag and picking up the notecards from the floor. Mino’s starting to get annoyed.

“I don’t understand what you think I did wrong here,” Mino snaps.

“That’s the thing!” Seungyoon snarls, and everyone’s looking now, but he doesn’t seem to notice. “You don’t ever understand! All you do is think about how it will affect you!”

Mino gives him an incredulous look. “What are you fucking talking about?”

Seungyoon takes a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose. He reaches into his wallet, pulling out a few bills. “Whatever. I’m not even gonna do this right now. I have class in like half an hour,” He throws the money on the table and hitches his bag over his shoulder. “Like I said, you and Taehyun are a good match. I hope you’re very happy together.”

He storms out, the bell on the door ringing as he slams it behind him, leaving Mino staring after him just as confused as ever.

 

Mino texts Seunghoon later asking if he knows where Taehyun’s performance is. Seunghoon gives him the address and says he’ll see him there, tacking on a smiley face at the end. Mino figures it’s best to just ask him in person what happened with Jinwoo and tell him about Seungyoon’s outburst.

The bar this time is just as much as a hole in the wall, although slightly bigger and obviously fitted more for artists to perform than the last one. The patrons look more like the people who had been backstage at the last performance, and Mino spots Seunghoon sitting at a table with Wendy and the blonde girl from the other night.

When he approaches them, he notices Seunghoon looks different. Pale, tired, dark circles under his eyes. He’s not smiling, although when Mino sits down he tries to, but it just looks pained and forced.

“This is Irene,” Seunghoon says bluntly, gesturing to the other blonde girl. She smiles sweetly at Mino, and he smiles back gingerly.

“We need to talk,” Mino whispers to Seunghoon when Irene turns to talk to Wendy. Seunghoon raises an eyebrow at him, face inscrutable.

“What happened with Jinwoo?” Mino asks, and something flashes briefly in Seunghoon’s eyes, but he furrows his brows and it disappears seconds later.

“Nothing,” Seunghoon shrugs, taking a swig of his beer. “I took him back to my place and he just passed out. He was still asleep when Taehyun came to get him in the morning.”

Mino frowns, disappointed. “Nothing else happened?”

“Did you expect something else to happen?” Seunghoon snaps in an almost defensive voice. “He’s a junkie, not a prostitute.”

“That’s not what I meant-” Mino starts to say, but the lights dim and Seunghoon ignores him, turning away from him to face the stage.

There are a few people who perform before Taehyun. Mino barely hears them, too lost in his thought, still trying to figure out why Seunghoon and Seungyoon both seemed to be angry with him for some reason. Irene tries to engage him in conversation a few times, but he doesn’t feel like small talk, and she ultimately gives up, looking offended when he just mumbles a reply for the sixth time.

By the time Taehyun comes out, most of the bar is pleasantly drunk, and there’s a few wolf whistles and cat calls when he steps on stage. Mino feels the jealous monster rear its ugly head in his chest, and he tries to ignore the way Wendy smiles when she sees Taehyun.

The song this time is softer, sweet piano notes instead of heavy bass. A few notes in, and just as Taehyun starts singing it hits Mino what he’s singing. It’s an Italian song, one of Mino’s favorites. Even Seunghoon seems to recognize it, frowning and glancing at Mino.

“Isn’t this that song you always play?” He asks, and Mino nods, eyes stuck on Taehyun.

“L'amore è un'altra cosa,” Mino whispers. “Love is another thing.”

He hears more than sees Seunghoon roll his eyes, scoffing. He feels like if he blinks, Taehyun will disappear, and he won’t ever hear again the beautiful silkiness of his voice singing in Italian, rolling his r’s perfectly like he was fluent. Mino tries to make eye contact multiple times, but Taehyun’s too focused on the song. Mino’s mind is fumbling and tripping over the lyrics, translating them and mouthing along to them. It’s over as soon as it’s started, and Mino feels a strange longing tugging at his heart, like he wants to leap onstage and chase after Taehyun when he exits.

Halfway through the next performer, someone taps Mino on the shoulder. Taehyun’s standing beside him when he looks up, his arm linked with Jinwoo’s.

“Mind if we sit?” Taehyun asks, and Mino nods eagerly, scooting over to make room.

Taehyun sits down gracefully, tugging at Jinwoo to sit too. Mino tries to study Jinwoo out of the corner of his eye. He doesn’t look as bad as he did last night, more color to his face and his hair styled nicely. He’s not shaking anymore and his eyes aren’t bloodshot.

“Hi, Jinwoo,” Mino greets, and everyone at the table turns to look at him except Seunghoon, who has his eyes fixed determinedly on the girl singing on stage.

Jinwoo frowns at him, raising his eyebrow. “Do I know you?”

Taehyun laughs suddenly, but it sounds strained and nervous. “Jinwoo, this is Mino. He’s a friend of Seunghoon.”

“I’ve never met you before,” Jinwoo says, eyes flickering to Seunghoon. Seunghoon takes a long sip of his beer, still not looking at any of them. Mino sees Wendy lay a hand on Seunghoon’s thigh out of his peripheral vision.

“Yeah, I’m surprised I never met you before either,” Mino laughs. “Seunghoon and I are best friends.”

“Seunghoon is ashamed of me,” Jinwoo deadpans. Seunghoon whips his head around, jaw set and glaring at him, but Jinwoo ignores him. “He doesn’t want his friends to meet that junkie kid he fucks sometimes.”

“Shut the fuck up, asshole,” Seunghoon snarls. He’s gripping the edge of the table to the point his knuckles are turning white, and Wendy grips his thigh a little tighter, looking panicked.

“Seunghoon-” She starts, but he slaps her hand away, getting to his feet. Jinwoo is smirking at him, lips curled back.

“What’s wrong, did I hit a nerve?” Jinwoo sneers, and a few people around them are watching now. Mino glances at Taehyun, and the younger is just rubbing his temples, eyes squeezed shut.

“You never seem to talk this much shit when you’re begging me to fuck you,” Seunghoon snaps. Someone nearby lets out an ‘ooooooh’ and Jinwoo leaps to his feet, his chair clattering over. The girl onstage stops singing, and now almost everyone in the bar is watching.

“The only time I let you fuck me is when I’m so messed up I don’t remember,” Jinwoo growls back. They’re starting to lean towards each other over the table. “I do remember you telling me that I’m garbage and you could never be with someone like me, though, so I do wonder why you keep fucking me if you’ve got such high standards, Seunghoon,” He says his name like it’s slur.

Seunghoon grabs at Jinwoo’s collar, so roughly he’s pulled across the table slightly, beer bottles knocking over. Before either of them can say anything else, Taehyun stands up and physically shoves Seunghoon off Jinwoo, with a surprising amount of strength Mino didn’t know he had. Seunghoon falls to the floor, and Taehyun grabs Jinwoo by the hair, dragging him back. He looks down at Mino, all trace of the Taehyun he knew before gone. He looks terrifying, eyes hard and cold and mouth set in a straight line.

He stares at him for a second, then turns, practically dragging Jinwoo out by the hair. The doors slam behind them, and the silence left in their wake is almost deafening, the entire bar staring at their table.

Seunghoon sits on the floor for a few seconds, breathing heavily. Mino stands up, offering him his hand to help him up. Seunghoon accepts it, and when he stands up he proceeds to immediately punch Mino in the face so hard he almost instantly blacks out, the screaming of the bar's patrons the last thing he hears before he hits the ground.

 

When Mino comes to, he finds himself in a cab with Irene, who’s texting furiously on her phone, and surprisingly, Seungyoon, who’s watching over Mino carefully.

“Welcome back,” Seungyoon says dully. Irene looks up, her face grim.

Mino tries to smile, but his face aches, his nose throbbing. “Fuck. What happened?”

“Seunghoon knocked you out,” Irene explains. “Gave you a pretty nice black eye there. I called Seungyoon to get you.”

Mino sits up, groaning at the pain. His mind flashes back to Seunghoon and Jinwoo at each others throats in the bar, and Taehyun dragging Jinwoo out. “Where’s Taehyun?”

Seungyoon looks like he’s going to punch him as well. “Who fuckin’ cares. The better question is where’s Seunghoon. I can’t reach him.”

“Why’d he punch me?”

“Cause you’re an asshole,” Irene interjects helpfully.

The cab jerks to a stop then, and Irene opens the door to let herself out. She hands a few dollars to Seungyoon and gives Mino a sympathetic look. “Feel better, though,” She adds before stepping out and gently closing the door behind her.

“Seriously, why’d he punch me? What’d I do?” Mino repeats once the cab starts driving away again.

Seungyoon just sighs. “Just ask him yourself next time you see him. Although I have no idea when that’ll be, because he’s not picking up.”

“Was he at the bar when you got there?”

“Irene said he punched you and left, but no one knows where he went.”

Mino touches his eye and winces. It feels swollen and tender. He’s still a little dizzy and trying to process everything that happened and figure out why Seunghoon decked him in the face at the same time just makes his head hurt more.

Seungyoon escorts him to his dorm, making sure he gets into bed fine. He leaves a bottle of Advil and water next to his bed, and just before he leaves, he says, “Make sure you call Seunghoon tomorrow.” Mino just nods in response, already drifting off from the painkillers he took, and he hears Seungyoon’s phone ring in the hallway after he closes the door, but Mino’s too sleepy to wonder who it could be.

 

A pounding on his door wakes Mino in the middle of the night. A glance at his phone tells him it’s almost four, and he stumbles in the dark to unlock his door.

Seunghoon stands in its wake, the stench of alcohol rolling off him in waves. He leans against the doorframe, eyelids drooping, head rolling on his shoulders. He’s got an almost empty bottle of tequila in his hand, and he shoves his way in the minute Mino opens the door.

“Hey,” He mumbles, and he flops down on Mino’s bed face first, rolling onto his back to take a swig from the bottle.

“It’s the middle of the night,” Mino says, rubbing his eyes and then hissing when he forgets he has a black eye and he presses down too hard. Seunghoon glances up at the noise and grins at him lazily.

“Sorry I punched you,” He slurs. “Wanted to punch Jinwoo but he left and you were the closest thing.”

“‘S’Okay,” Mino replies, wiggling himself between the other and the wall and pulling his covers back up over the both of them.

They lay in the dark for a few minutes, and Mino’s just starting to fall back asleep when Seunghoon suddenly says, “Stop hangin’ out with Taehyun.”

Mino’s too tired to even question why, so instead he asks, “Why do you still hook up with Jinwoo if he’s so awful?”

Seunghoon rubs his face, letting out a noise that sounds halfway between a sigh and a groan. “He wasn’t always awful. Used to be really nice. I thought,” He swallows hard, his voice shaking slightly. “I thought I could help him stop using.”

“What happened?”

Seunghoon doesn’t respond. They’re just laying in the dark, in silence, when he finally says, “Dunno. Taehyun fucked it all up.” He downs the rest of the tequila in one go, coughing violently once he’s swallowed.

Mino frowns at the ceiling. “What’d he do?”

Seunghoon just rolls over, shoving his face into Mino’s neck and curling up next to him. “Forget it,” He mumbles into his skin. “I’m tired.”

Mino doesn’t have the heart to press any further when he feels tears start staining the collar of his shirt.

 

The next few days pass without incident. Seunghoon doesn’t mention the night at the bar, although he does mutter an apology and buy bruise cream for Mino’s eye the next morning. Seungyoon keeps giving Mino strange looks and then looking away quickly whenever the younger catches him staring.

There’s no word from Taehyun at all, or even Jinwoo, although Mino does get a flirty text from Irene asking him if he’s free soon. He replies just to be polite, and because he remembers Seunghoon mentioning Wendy and Irene are the only ones who can get in contact with Taehyun and he figures he might as well get on her good side.

Jiyong whistles when he sees his black eye the next day in class, clapping Mino on the back and asking who fucked him up so bad. Mino subtly nods at Seunghoon typing on his laptop beside them, and Jiyong’s jaw drops.

“No way,” Jiyong says. “Seunghoon? Damn,” He whistles again, kicking his feet up on his desk. “Guess I shouldn’t get on his bad side anytime soon then.”

Mino catches Seunghoon smiling to himself, and he grins at him, ignoring the stinging of his eye when he does.

 

It’s Saturday afternoon when someone knocks on Mino’s door. He’s deep in his Classical Italian Literature paper, and only when the knocking gets more intent is he shaken from his thoughts and gets up to answer. He wonders if it’s Seunghoon, but he hadn’t mentioned coming over today.

Much to his surprise, Taehyun stands there instead. His hair is messy and shoved to the side instead of neatly parted down the middle, and his face is flushed, eyes blown out and shirt half unbuttoned. He barrells in as soon as Mino opens the door enough, shoving him against the nearest wall and kicking the door shut behind him.

Taehyun’s name is only halfway out of his mouth before he’s grinding down hard against Mino’s thigh, lips pressed against his neck. The very obvious hard on Taehyun’s sporting rubs against Mino and makes something electric spark through his veins.

“No talking,” Taehyun mumbles, and he kisses him messily, almost missing his lips. “Please no talking, just fuck me.”

Mino wants to ask what’s happening, where Taehyun’s been, why he’s suddenly so eager, something, but Taehyun is already pulling back, unbuttoning his shirt and heading towards Mino’s bed.

“You have lube, right?” Taehyun asks, shrugging his shirt off and already starting on his jeans. Mino is frozen in spot, staring as Taehyun bares more and more skin. The younger looks up and snaps at him. “Mino!”

“What? Uh,” Mino trips over his own feet as he hurries to his desk, opening the drawer and digging around for his lube. “Yeah, I got it.”

When he turns around, he has to catch his breath at Taehyun spread out on his bed, naked, dick hard and curved up against his belly. He lets out an impatient noise, reaching out for Mino, and the elder unbuttons his jeans and kicks them off in a very unsexy way as fast as he can.

He crawls over Taehyun, slicking his fingers up. Taehyun’s tugging him down for a kiss, licking into his mouth, and Mino feels like it’s too much all at once when he feels the younger’s legs opening wider beneath him. Mino has to grope around blindly until he can slide the first finger in, Taehyun’s breath hitching against his lips.

“What…” Taehyun pants, pulling away but gripping hard onto Mino’s arms as he starts fucking his finger into him. “What are you listening to?”

“Uh,” Mino glances at his iphone dock on his desk, his cheeks heating up. “The Sex Pistols. Should I turn it off?” He slips a second finger in, and Taehyun’s eyes roll back, his grip on Mino’s bicep tightening.

“Fuck, no,” He pants, pushing back against Mino’s fingers. “I fucking love the Sex Pistols.”

Mino curses and curls his fingers, trying to find that spot inside him that’ll make him see stars. Taehyun’s so reactive, whining and clawing at Mino’s shirt, but when he finds it Taehyun’s back arches off the bed beautifully, moaning loudly. It’s music to Mino’s ears, and he presses hard against that spot, wanting to hear it again. Taehyun’s hand scramble to grab the sheets, throwing his head back and baring his neck. Mino can’t resist leaning down and sucking a bruise just against his pulse point, relishing in the way Taehyun gasps for air.

He doesn’t even get a third finger in before Taehyun is pulling him down for another kiss, murmuring, “fuck me, now” in a way that sends shivers down Mino’s spine.

“I don’t think you’re-” Mino starts to say, but Taehyun shakes his head, grabbing Mino’s wrist to stop his fingers stroking against his prostate.

“Shut up and fuck me,” Taehyun bites Mino’s lip to emphasize his point, and Mino groans in response.

He pulls his hand out, wiping his fingers on his tshirt, and then tugging it off after a thought. Taehyun stares at his chest with a hungry look, chewing on his bottom lip.

“I don’t have a condom,” Mino realizes suddenly, but Taehyun’s shaking his head again.

“Don’t need one, I don’t care,” He suddenly rolls over so he’s on his stomach, sticking his ass in the air and wiggling it in front of Mino. “Hurry up.”

Mino resists the urge to slap his ass and instead slicks up his own cock with more lube, closing his eyes when he strokes himself. He grabs hold of Taehyun’s hips, tugging him forward, and Taehyun lets out a little whimper when he’s dragged back and Mino’s tip just barely presses against his entrance.

Mino tries to inch his way in slowly, worried about hurting the younger, but Taehyun keeps rolling his hips and pressing back, impatient. When Mino bottoms out, Taehyun let’s out a frustrated huff and another “Hurry up.”

Mino’s head is spinning from the tight heat around his dick, and he has to swallow and take a deep breath before he pulls out and thrusts back in. Taehyun jerks forward from the force of it, moaning in appreciation, and Mino starts a steady pace, fucking into him. He grips his hips hard enough to leave bruises, because Mino wants Taehyun to have something to remember this, to look in the mirror and fit his fingers against the bruises and remember Mino fucking him.

For awhile, the only sounds are the music playing on full volume, Taehyun’s moaning and Mino’s groans. Taehyun is pushing back to meet Mino’s thrusts, but Mino has a surge of possessiveness and he wants to be closer, wants to be deeper, wants to be in control.

He grabs hold of Taehyun’s bicep with one hand, wrapping the other around him and hauling him up so Taehyun’s back is pressed against Mino’s chest. The angle forces Mino deeper, and Taehyun’s moans are cut off and change to high pitched whines. He throws his head back and rests it on Mino’s shoulder, mouth hanging open, eyes closed.

“Fuck, you’re so beautiful,” Mino growls into his ear, unable to help himself. “You look so good.” Taehyun’s whines get considerably louder at the sudden praise, and he bends his arms back to wrap them around Mino’s neck, holding himself up.

“So fucking good for me, you’re so good, yeah?” Mino doesn’t know where this is coming from, but he can’t stop the words from tumbling out of his mouth, his heart pounding in his chest as he slams into the younger. “Such a slut for me, you’re so desperate for it.”

Taehyun nods, gasping, and tilts his head for Mino to kiss him. Mino does, and it’s messy, but he swallows Taehyun’s moans anyway.

“Close,” Taehyun mumbles, and Mino hums in agreement, already feeling his orgasm coiling in his lower stomach.

Taehyun comes first, his whimpers cutting off and leaving his mouth open in a silent scream as he comes, untouched on Mino’s sheets. His body shakes in the aftermath, tightening around Mino, and it only takes a few more calculated thrusts for Mino to come inside him, biting down hard on Taehyun’s shoulder to stifle his groan.

He thrusts blindly into Taehyun as he milks it out, and the younger slumps against him, spent. Mino lowers him down once he can think clearly, sliding out and trying not to stare at his own come dripping out of the younger. He should get a cloth and clean them both up, change his sheets, but he’s too tired and all he can do is lay down as well to catch his breath.

Taehyun rolls over, his eyes closed, and rubs his cheek against Mino’s chest, throwing a leg over his hip.

“Thanks,” He mumbles sleepily. Mino hums, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. He feels warm inside and his heart feels like it’s going to burst as the weight of what just happened settles on him.

“Did something happen?” Mino asks as Taehyun wraps his arms around Mino’s neck and snuggles closer.

“Mhm,” Taehyun murmurs. He lets out a sigh, already half asleep “Jinwoo killed himself.”

It takes Mino a few seconds to process his words, and by the time he does, Taehyun’s already fast asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry not sorry :^)


	3. Chapter 3

Mino waits until Taehyun is in a deep sleep before prying himself out of the youngers arms and getting out of bed. His thoughts are racing so fast he can’t slow down to organize them all, but the one that sticks out the most is to call Seungyoon and see if he knows about Jinwoo. If Seunghoon knows about Jinwoo.

He picks up his boxers from the floor and pulls them, phone held between his shoulder and cheek. He’s opening the window to let in some fresh air when Seungyoon picks up with a loud, “What’s up?”. There’s noise in the background, and Seungyoon laughs at something someone says. He must be at a bar or a party.

“So, uh, Jinwoo’s fucking dead,” Mino blurts out, and all at once all the talking and laughter on the other end of the line goes silent. All he can hear is the breathing of a few people, including Seungyoon, until someone lets out a blood curdling scream that makes Mino jump a foot in the air.

“What the fuck do you mean Jinwoo’s dead?” Seungyoon snaps, and he sounds much closer now, someone still shouting in the background but more muffled.

“Was I on speaker?” Mino asks, sitting down at his desk chair and resting his elbows on his knees. He stares at Taehyun’s sleeping form, watches the rise and fall of his back.

“Yeah, you were on fucking speaker, and Seunghoon heard,” Seungyoon lets out a frustrated sigh, and Mino knows the elder’s running his hand through his hair and even pulling a few strands out like he always does when he stressed.

“Fuck. I didn’t mean for him to hear.”

“I know. How did you-”

Seungyoon is cut off, and there’s a lot of indistinct yelling and what sounds like the phone being wrestled from him until Seunghoon snarls in Mino’s ear, “Where are you?”

“Uh-” Mino glances at Taehyun again. “Listen, Seunghoon, just calm down-”

“Are you with Taehyun?” His voice is starting to slip from angry to monotone, and it makes Mino’s blood chill in his veins. “Are you at your place? Tell Taehyun I’m gonna fucking kill him,” He adds, and the line goes dead a second later.

Mino stares at his phone for a minute or two in shock. He’s still staring at his recent call list when he hears the bed springs creak. He looks up and Taehyun is stretching his arms out, yawning. When he opens his eyes, he smiles at Mino, his fact soft and warm.

“What are you doing?” He asks when he sees the look on Mino’s face, smile slipping.

“Um,” Mino looks at his phone, then at Taehyun, then his phone, then back again. “We have to leave.”

Taehyun frowns at him. “Leave? Why?”

“I just... It’s not safe here,” Mino winces at the cheesiness of that line, and instead of making to leave he moves to the bed, getting on his knees so he’s eye to eye with the younger. “Listen… Taehyun. You said Jinwoo um… killed himself.”

Taehyun’s face is blank as he nods.

“Can you just,” Mino reaches up to run his fingers through Taehyun’s hair, but thinks against it, and just lets his hand fall beside the younger’s cheek. Taehyun’s skin is smooth and soft and begging to be touched, and Mino has to lick his lips and regain his train of thought before he can speak again. It’s almost embarrassing how being so close to the younger puts everything around him in a complete standstill. “How did he do it? When?

Taehyun doesn’t respond for a minute, and he looks like he’s studying Mino’s face. Then he sighs, sitting up. The sheets fall away from him and Mino feels something stir in the pit of his stomach at all the bite marks and hickeys littering Taehyun’s body. He mentally curses himself. Now’s not the time.

“A few hours ago, I went home for dinner,” Taehyun begins. His eyes are unfocused, staring at the door with an empty expression. “I found him in the bathtub with a needle still in his arm,” Taehyun laughs, but it sounds hollow. “There wasn’t even any water in the tub, and he was still fully dressed. He just put himself in there to make it more dramatic.”

Mino has to swallow before saying softly, “So, he overdosed? Wouldn’t that be accidental, not a suicide?”

“Jinwoo was a heavy user with a high tolerance,” Taehyun says, putting heavy emphasis on the was. He pulls himself out of bed, reaching to the floor for his clothes. “He knew exactly how much he could handle. Accidental overdose wasn’t even an option for him.”

Mino opts out of replying and instead just watches Taehyun pull his jeans on and button them up while the elder still kneels on the floor beside the bed.

There’s shouting in the hallway, and Mino hears both Seunghoon and Seungyoon’s voices coming closer. Taehyun looks up, and when he recognizes their voices he whips around, looking incensed.

“You told him?” He snaps, and Mino suddenly wants to shrink inside himself and disappear at the look on the younger’s face directed at him.

“I didn’t mean to,” Mino whispers, and a moment later his front door is quite literally kicked open by Seunghoon, breaking off the top hinge and swinging around to bang against the wall, a cracking noise resonating through the room.

Seunghoon charges for Taehyun, and Mino doesn’t even have a chance to stand up before he’s throwing the younger against the bed, crawling on top of him and wrapping his hands around Taehyun’s throat. Taehyun starts kicking his legs wildly, pulling at Seunghoon’s wrists, but the elder doesn’t budge.

Seungyoon bursts in then, sporting a bloody nose. He reaches them the same time Mino does, and together they haul Seunghoon off Taehyun, each grabbing an arm to hold him back.

“Let go of me!” Seunghoon screams, fighting with all his might to get back at the younger. “I’m gonna fucking strangle him!”

Taehyun is still lying on the bed, coughing and wheezing as he gets his breath back. He’s visibly shaking, and Mino wishes Seunghoon would stop trying to struggle out of their grip so he could let go of him and go comfort Taehyun instead.

“You did this, you fucking killed him!” Seunghoon keeps shouting, and he looks almost delirious in the way he glares at the younger like he’s responsible for the death of millions rather than just finding his brother’s suicide. “You couldn’t let him be happy, you couldn’t let anyone be happy! You’re so fucking selfish, Nam Taehyun!”

His voice breaks on Taehyun’s names, and he’s suddenly crying, tears running down his cheeks as he shouts angrily through them. “You fucking bastard, how could you do this to me!?” He sobs.

“Seunghoon,” Seungyoon starts, but Taehyun’s getting to his feet and pulling on his shirt, looking for his shoes on the floor. He’s mumbling to himself, and Mino can see choke bruises around his neck as he pulls on his boots.

“Taehyun,” Mino says. “Wait, let’s just-” He feels someone pinch him hard in the stomach, and he scowls at Seunghoon, who’s still glaring at Taehyun and crying as the younger finally stands up and looks at them.

“I’m,” Taehyun looks between the three of them, and his gaze lands on Seungyoon, who’s face is blank save for the blood dripping down his chin from his nose. Taehyun looks down at the floor when he meets the elder’s eyes, and mumbles, “I have to go.”

He hurriedly shoves past them and out the door, disappearing down the hall, the click of his heel following him.

Mino waits until he hears front door slam two floors down before letting go of Seunghoon. The elder falls to his knees without the support, wailing loudly like a child. Seungyoon’s still got a hold on his upper arm, weakly holding it up like he still hopes Seunghoon will get it together and stand. He doesn’t, though, just sits on the floor sobbing so loudly Mino can hear the girl upstairs banging through the ceiling for them to be quiet.

Mino hasn’t the slightest clue what do, and he looks at Seungyoon for guide. The elder’s face is impassive, watching Seunghoon intently, and he glances up when Mino looks at him. He sighs deeply, letting go of the crying boy and opting to running his hands through his hair instead.

“How did he do it?” Seungyoon asks, and Seunghoon lets out a piteous noise like an injured animal.

“Uh,” Mino sits down at his desk again. He feels slightly like he’s in shock, his head buzzing. A few hours ago he was just enjoying a night of classic Italian literature and some nice rose wine and in the span of time from then to now Jinwoo had killed himself, he and Taehyun fucked, and Seunghoon had attempted homicide.

Speaking of said wine, Mino remembers his half full glass still sitting on his desk beside his lamp. He grabs it and downs the rest of it in one go before saying, “He overdosed in the tub.”

“Jinwoo,” Seunghoon whimpers, putting his face in his hands and starting to shake. Seungyoon pets the top of his head in sympathy, his fingers carding through the younger’s hair.

“Why did Taehyun come to tell you, though?” Seungyoon suddenly wonders out loud. “You must’ve been the first person he told.”

“He didn’t tell me until after we fucked,” Mino says before he can stop himself, his voice coming out slightly bitter, and Seungyoon abruptly freezes up. His fingers grip hard into Seunghoon’s hair, and the younger hisses in pain.

“You had sex with Taehyun?” Seungyoon repeats slowly after a few seconds. His face is thawing out, his brows furrowing and his lips curling down. Mino nods.

Seunghoon, who’s wiping his tears with the back of his hands and hiccuping as he tries to stop crying, lets out a noise of surprise when Seungyoon suddenly hauls him to his feet.

“You’re such a dick, Mino,” Seungyoon snarls, and even Seunghoon looks bewildered. “Stop trying to make everything about you.”

He storms out, dragging Seunghoon with him. Mino watches them go with his mouth hanging open, too stunned to even think of a response.

 

Mino doesn’t sleep at all that night. He tries calling both Seunghoon and Seungyoon multiple times, and even Wendy and Irene. None of them pick up, although Irene texts him a few hours later around four am that she knows about Jinwoo and has let Taehyun and Jinwoo’s mother know. Mino doesn’t really care about that, even though he knows he should. He’s more worried about where Taehyun went, and… something else he can’t explain. There’s a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach like something is wrong, something he’s missing, and it buzzes in his head like hornets for hours, leaving him lying in bed staring at the ceiling and playing the night on repeat in his mind in hopes maybe he’ll find that one missing puzzle piece he so desperately needs.

He drags himself to class the next day with dark purples bruises under his eyes and an almost nonexistent hope Seunghoon might be in class as well. He wears a red scarf around his neck to cover the hickeys Taehyun had left on his neck, but halfway to class he decides he doesn’t care if people see them, and shoves the scarf in his bag. He might as well let there be a reminder of the only good thing that came from last night.

When he gets to class, he’s not surprised to find Seunghoon nowhere in sight. He trudges over to wear Jiyong is sitting and collapses into the chair beside him, groaning loudly. Jiyong nods at him in response, boots propped up on his desk and scrolling through his phone. After a few minutes, Mino clears his throat, and Jiyong raises an eyebrow, glancing up at him.

“What?” He snaps, looking back at his phone when Mino doesn’t reply immediately.

“Uh…” Mino bites his lip, and he’s about to speak when Jiyong suddenly kicks his feet down, leans forward and pushes Mino’s head to the side so the younger’s neck is bared.

“Did Namtae do that?” Jiyong asks. He presses his finger against one of the marks, and Mino hisses in pain and shoves the elder off him.

“Fuck off,” Mino mumbles, cheeks heating up. Jiyong smirks at him, eyes twinkling.

“How was he? I bet he’s a freak in bed,” He laughs, and Mino can’t stop himself from kicking Jiyong hard in the shin. The elder stops laughing and glares at the younger, raising his hand in a threat to hit him back.

“Listen,” Mino starts again once Jiyong is looking back at his phone. “Can you.. What happened with Taehyun and you?”

“What?”

“Like… you and Jinwoo used to be friends, right? And you said Taehyun was crazy. Why’d you say that?”

Jiyong laughs and puts his phone down, turning in his seat so he’s facing Mino. “Shit, it’s the wildest fucking story. It was maybe like, two years ago?” He furrows his brow as he tries to remember. “Jinwoo and I had been moving coke for a couple months together and this one night I had to go pick a case up from Jinwoo’s.”

Mino briefly wonders if Jiyong still talks to Jinwoo. If he knows he’s dead.

“So I got to their place and Namtae opened the door and he was acting weird as fuck. He was like, ‘you can’t be here’ and wouldn’t open the door fully. I think he was with someone because I heard another kids voice inside talking to him. And I tried to come in, cause, you know, I needed to pick up that blow or our supplier was gonna kill us but he was like ‘Jinwoo’s not here, come back another time’ and slammed the door in my face.”

“That’s weird,” Mino mutters under his breath, and Jiyong nods.

“Right?” He frowns, staring down at his hands. He looks almost worried, and Mino thinks this is the most emotion he’s ever seen the elder portray in front of him other than anger. “I was friends with Taehyun, too, so I was kinda like… worried about him. I told Jinwoo but he said it was nothing so I forgot about it. But then, like,” Jiyong leans in closer, so that their heads are almost talking, and lowers his voice. “A week later or so I stayed over their place because Jinwoo and I had to meet with this buyer in the early morning together. And I woke up in the middle of the night to fuckin’ gun pressed to the back of my head.”

Mino pulls away, giving him a skeptical look. “No way.”

Jiyong slaps him against the head, and Mino curses at him. “Do you think I’d make this shit up for laughs? I woke up to gun pressed against my head. And it’s dark as shit and all I hear is Taehyun say, ‘leave and don’t ever come back. don’t ever speak to me or my brother again’. I remember being so pissed off because I just wanted to make some extra money. I didn’t wanna deal with all this dramatic ass shit. So I had to leave in the middle of the night,” Jiyong leans back in his seat, looking thoughtful. “But like… the weird thing is I think I there was some other kid there with Taehyun? Because as I was leaving I swear I saw some other guy holding the gun when I shut the door.”

Mino stares at him. Most of his mind is telling him this is all bullshit, but a voice in the back of his head is rationalizing it all. He can’t think of anything else to say other than, “That’s wild, man.”

Jiyong glares at him, like he was expecting a better reaction, and picks up his phone again, turning to face forward. “Yeah, but that’s what happened. So, like I said, stay away from Namtae. He’s fuckin’ crazy.”

Mino nods slowly. Something is still missing, and it’s frustrating him to the point he wants to scream, but he hasn’t the slightest clue to what it is. He feels like he’s a mouse in a maze but there isn’t any cheese and he’s just been going in circles for hours on end.

Their professor comes in just then, and Mino shakes his head, trying to clear his mind and hoping maybe his lecture will distract Mino from everything else. He reaches into his bag to grab his books, but it was laying on it’s side, and instead everything falls out; his books, his laptop, the red scarf. He’s picking them all up, and reaches for the scarf, when Jiyong’s boot slams down on top of it.

Mino looks up, and Jiyong’s got a very strange look on his face. It’s almost a mix of angry and scared.

“Are you fucking with me right now?” Jiyong asks slowly, and Mino looks around, wondering if he missed something yet again.

“Sorry?” Mino replies.

“Did you hold the fucking gun to my head? Are you trying to play a fucking game with me?” Jiyong repeats, his voice deep and low. Mino stares at him.

“What are you talking about?” Mino snaps. He’s already frustrated about Taehyun and everything else. He doesn’t need this right now.

“That kid who had the gun at Taehyun’s place that time. He had this fucking scarf on,” Jiyong says. He’s looking almost worried now, eyeing Mino like he’s afraid he’ll attack him.

“I just met Taehyun like a week and a half ago,” Mino bites back. He tugs the scarf out from under Jiyong’s foot, folding up the red knit fabric gently. “Plus this is isn’t even my scarf, it’s-” Mino stops. He looks down at the scarf. “-Seungyoon’s,” He finishes, staring at it.

Something clicks into place in Mino’s mind, and the whole room sounds like a faint buzzing noise as he stares at the scarf. It’s not his scarf. It’s Seungyoon’s scarf.

“Seungyoon? Kang Seungyoon?” Jiyong’s voice sounds distant, far off. Drowned out. “Then he was the kid who held a gun to my head, because I remember that fuckin’ scarf.”

Puzzle pieces are fitting together, Mino’s running out of the maze. The feeling in his stomach goes from unidentified to dread, making him feel like he’s swallowed stones. Everything starts making sense. Seungyoon getting piss drunk the first night Mino met Taehyun. Seungyoon’s note saying Taehyun was a bad person, warning him to stay away from him multiple times. Seungyoon getting unreasonably angry with him when he had said that Taehyun had brought Jinwoo over to his place, and called Seunghoon, and Taehyun had stayed the night. Seungyoon snapping and yelling at Mino when he’d found out he’d slept with Taehyun.

At that thought, Mino jumps out of his seat so fast even the professor stops talking, the whole class turning to look at him.

“I have to go,” Mino announces to nobody in particular, and practically sprints out of the classroom. He can hear Jiyong shouting something after him as he leaves.

 

Mino calls Irene seventeen times until she finally picks up with an angry, “Mino, what the fuck, I’m in class and-”

“Where does Taehyun live?” Mino almost shouts over her. He’s running down the street, headed towards his place only because he doesn’t know where Taehyun’s is.

“What? Uh..” She thinks for a few seconds, and Mino almost curses her out. “2103 53rd and 8th. Sixth floor, I think.”

Mino hangs up without another word, skirting to a stop and turning on his feet. Taehyun’s place is the opposite direction and as he races down the street, shoving past crowds, he prays he’s not too late.

 

When he gets to Taehyun’s apartment, the door is cracked open slightly. He can hear voices inside, whispering, and he immediately recognizes Taehyun’s voice. He throws open the door all the way, barging his way in.

Taehyun’s standing in the kitchen, backed up against the fridge, and Seungyoon is there, standing a few feet from him. The elder’s got a two prong fork in his hand, and it shines with what definitely has to be blood. He looks Taehyun up and down, but he’s wearing black clothes, and Mino can’t spot any blood on him.

“Mino,” Taehyun whispers as Seungyoon scoffs.

“Oh, my God, fuck off, Mino,” Seungyoon snarls. “You’re always butting in on other people’s business.”

“Seungyoon, put that thing down,” Mino says. He tries to say it softly, kindly, and Seungyoon just slams his fist on the countertop, glaring at him.

“Don’t talk to me like I’m crazy!” He screams back, and Taehyun visibly flinches against the fridge at his voice raising.

“Seungyoon, please,” Mino raises his hands up in the air, hoping maybe it would calm the elder down. “I’m not going to hurt you, just put that thing down and we can talk about this.”

“He’s mine!” Seungyoon shouts, brandishing the fork wildly. “He’s always been mine! You can’t just come in and take him from me! And you!” He steps forward, pointing at Taehyun, and Mino steps forward as well, panic rising in his chest at the way Taehyun whimpers in terror. “You’re such a little whore, you just went straight to him like I don’t exist!”

“Seungyoon, I didn’t-” Taehyun begins, but Seungyoon moves towards him suddenly, so that he’s much closer, the fork pressing against Taehyun’s chest.

“I told you bad things would happen if you left me,” Seungyoon whispers. His voice has changed to soft, sweet, and it sends chills down Mino’s spine. “I told you bad things would happen to Jinwoo if you left me.”

Taehyun sobs, and it sounds distorted. “Jinwoo didn’t do anything, you didn’t have to kill him!”

“I told you!” Seungyoon yells, the fork starting to puncture Taehyun’s shirt, and Mino moves so he can grab Seungyoon. But he doesn’t move fast enough, and Seungyoon is already stabbing Taehyun in the chest by the time Mino starts pulling him off.

Taehyun lets out a strangle noise, crumpling immediately. He leaves a trail of blood down the fridge as he goes.

Mino falls along with Seungyoon from the weight of hauling him back. Seungyoon looks like he’s crying, his voice breaking as he repeats, “Look what you made me do, Taehyun, look what you made me do, look what you made me do!”

Mino scrambles over to the younger, pulling him into his lap. Taehyun’s gasping for breath, and when Mino unbuttons his shirt he finds not only the stab wound but another one lower on Taehyun’s stomach that must’ve been from just before he arrived.

Seungyoon’s still mumbling to himself, getting to his feet. He’s backing out of the apartment, looking panicked, throwing the fork down on the floor as he goes.

“Mino,” Taehyun says, and Mino cups the younger’s face in his hands, trying not to cry.

“It’s fine, Taehyun, don’t worry, it’s not that deep, okay-”

“Mino,” Taehyun repeats. “I’m not crazy,” His eyes are welling up with tears, and he looks desperate.

“I know you’re not crazy, Taehyun,” Mino murmurs. “You’re not, and when we get you fixed up, we’ll make sure everyone knows.”

“Tell Seunghoon for me,” Taehyun breathes out. He coughs violently for a second, and blood comes up, spattering on Mino’s shirt. Mino’s got a lump in his throat that hurts when he tries to swallow. “Tell Seunghoon it wasn’t me who fucked up his relationship with Jinwoo. I didn’t do it.”

“I know you didn’t, and you can just tell him yourself, okay-” Mino’s starting to babble, trying to wipe away at the endless amount of blood spilling from Taehyun’s chest. He just smears it all over Taehyun’s skin, and his hand ends up stained red. He’s still trying not to cry, his eyes filling up to the point he can’t see well.

“Mino,” Taehyun whispers again, and Mino looks at him. The younger looks beautiful, even bleeding out, hair dark and pushed back against his stark white skin. A single tear runs down his cheek, and Mino can’t help but think how tragically poetic this moment is. “Dio stresso sarebbe geloso delle,” He coughs again, spits out more blood and then smiles so Mino can see his pearly white teeth stained with blood. “I forgot the rest of it.”

It takes Mino a minute to realize he’s trying to recite a line from one of Mino’s poems. “Dio stresso sarebbe geloso delle parole che abbiamo condiviso tra noi,” He breathes out, and his voice breaks on the last few words, the tears finally spilling down his cheeks. “We’ve shared so few, though.”

“They’re still good enough for me,” Taehyun mumbles, his eyes closed now. His breathing has become much slower, and Mino hiccups through a broken sob, pulling Taehyun against him.

“I’m sorry, Taehyun,” He cries against his neck. All around him the copper scent of blood is filling his nostrils, making him feel sick. “I’m sorry.”

 

Mino tells Seunghoon at the joint funeral, as they’re watching Taehyun and Jinwoo’s caskets be lowered into the ground. Seunghoon hasn’t stopped crying for three hours since the service began, and when Mino whispers in his ears what Taehyun wanted him to know he collapses to the ground, wailing like a child. Across from them, Mino can see Taehyun and Jinwoo’s mother, a thin black veil over her face, wiping at her eyes with a tissue. Beside her, Wendy cries into the crook of Irene’s neck, and beside them, Jiyong stands. He meets Mino’s gaze and gives him a sad look.

When it’s Mino’s turn to place a white rose on the headstone, he glances up and spots someone standing a few meters off, wearing a familiar red scarf.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm truly, very sorry. thanks for reading! ♡

**Author's Note:**

> come find me/yell at me on twitter @ballerinaten


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